From time to time, I find myself thinking about the goodness of the Lord and all He’s done in my heart and mind over the past few years. I often reflect on the times when I was nothing more than a hopeless woman wandering aimlessly through life, broken, battered, and bruised.
I never thought I’d break free from the cage of despair, but I am grateful for the powerful name of Jesus that destroys every chain in our lives. Whenever I recall the miraculous work the Lord has done in me, I can’t help but lift my hands and utter Thank You Jesus from a heart overwhelmed with gratitude.
I know very well what it’s like to feel broken beyond repair.
Life made me believe that I was cursed with a curse. It seemed like I couldn’t win for losing, and every time I thought things couldn’t get worse, I was proven wrong. Whenever I’d slightly convince myself that I could make it through to better days, something would happen to crush my hope. Every small glimpse of sunshine I’d find was quickly clouded by gloom. It was exhausting, and I often felt like I was losing my mind.
There were times when I couldn’t leave my house because the tears wouldn’t stop flowing; days when strength to get out of bed was non-existent; moments when I thought I’d have a mental breakdown; and periods of not knowing whether I was coming or going.
Back then, I couldn’t see God’s hand upon me; neither could I understand how all of the pain and anguish in my life would work together for my good, as Romans 8:28 encourages. It was challenging for me to believe Jeremiah 29:11, that God had good plans for me. All I could see was what appeared to be a jacked up life that had no purpose. I sometimes even battled with thoughts of suicide, and honestly believed that I would die in my brokenness.
Oh, but God!
Right in the middle of my despair, in the midst of all my brokenness, His love and His word found me. He spoke to me so profoundly in Psalm 118:17. It says, “I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done.” I embedded that scripture in my heart, and I meditated on it day and night, until I became convinced of its truth.
When the enemy told me to self-destruct, I told him I will not die, but live.
When my problems overwhelmed me, I told myself I will not die, but live.
When depression backed me into a dark corner, I proclaimed I will not die, but live.
I spoke life into my atmosphere, no matter what my emotions said, and by the grace of God, His Word became manifest in me.
I didn’t perish in my pain, and neither will you.
Though it often seems differently, God did not design your afflictions to destroy you. He allows you to experience tough times so that you may learn of Him, and become shaped and molded into what He destined you to be. He desires to give you life even in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death. It is the enemy who convinces you to believe that you will drown in your sorrow, but he is a liar.
Know this – It is during your storms that you are on the Potter’s wheel. Just as the potter cups his hand around the clay on his wheel and carefully shapes it until it becomes a beautiful masterpiece, so does our Father hold you in His hands, meticulously molding you until you become like the image of Christ. The clay may become a bit marred and broken in the process, but as long as it remains in the potter’s hands, he will perfectly put it back together.
The pain is not to kill you. The fire is not to burn you. The raging sea is not to drown you. It is not unto death. Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). It is the thief, the enemy, that comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but he cannot take what belongs to the Lord. And because you have been bought with a price, you are God’s property. Though the enemy desires to sift you as wheat, he does not possess the power to prosper in his attacks against you.
Despite how bad it hurts, how dark the day, how heavy the burden, the Lord has plans to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). If you just hang in there, you will witness the Lord’s promise to perfect every single thing that concerns you (Psalm 138:8). You’ll soon look back and see how the Lord’s mercy endured in your life, and proclaim His goodness forever.
Your right now pales in comparison to your future. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says it best, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” Your troubles will not be the death of you, but, on the contrary, will aid in the development of who God designed you to be long before the foundation of the world.
You shall not die, but live. How so, you ask? The answer is found in Zechariah 4:6, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.”